Friday, February 6, 2009

How to throw the perfect tantrum....


.....written, illustrated and directed by Kyle Thomas Greve

I was having a great day and Mommy told me that after Hailey's nap, we would go to Cabella's before Daddy got home from work. I was so excited. I love going and seeing all the animals, but mostly I love to play the gun game. (mom explanation: a video game with rifles that you hunt deer...I know, judge me all you want!)

In the van I proceeded to appear fine, singing songs, being nice to my sister and even listening to my the store rules. Little did they know what was in store. We walk in and their it is in all its glory......the gun game.

"Mommy, I want to play the gun game." Hoping she will forget that she told me I had to wait until we were leaving.

"No, Kyle, we will play it after we see the animals and the fish."
I was fine with this...for now. I hurried along and looked at the animals, still having them fooled this whole time. I pointed out animals to Hailey. YES, now we are moving on to the fish. Me, still keeping my guise, I enjoy the fish with my sister. I see the opportunity and go for it.

"Mommy, can I go play the gun game now!" I give her my charming look that I know wins every time.

"Thank you Kyle for being patient and waiting, Yes we can. But you know the rules. After we play we are leaving.

Yes gun game. That is all I registered. All I see is that orange rifle and deer.....here I come! We arrive at the entrance and mommy lets me put in the dollar. She has to help me with the gun because it's too hard. We were laughing having a great time.

Then she said it.

Ok Kyle, it's time to go.

My secret is about to be exposed. I decided to throw a little bit of a fuss, but not too much. I have to save my energy for later and to just try and push my mom's buttons. The street and the parking lot, the best place. So, I oblige, hold her hand and walk out the door. The magic to all this, is to make sure mommy is holding sister. If she is in a stroller or cart, the effect isn't as great. Mommy was holding sister. Perfect.

There had to be about 10 ATV's out front and I was determined to sit in one. I asked, she said no, that we had to get home because Daddy would be home any minute.

Tears and whining are always a good start. Mommy tries to reason with me. I don't listen and start screaming. We are walking to the van and I try to run away, but somehow mommy has me good this time. Hopefully she hasn't figured me out. I fight to get in my carseat, and by this time, my face is red, snot is all over, sister is crying and Mommy isn't saying a word. She just has "a look." My mommy says that I am not allowed to watch my show when we get home and I continue to scream.....I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME. I WANT TO GET OUT!

It isn't that long of a drive, but to make it memorable I kick the back of mommy's seat AND scream.

Mommy still not saying anything. We get in the driveway and here is my cue. I stop crying right when we hit the garage and as soon as Mommy opens the door I say:

"Mommy, may I watch my show......PLEASE?!"

That is advanced tantrum throwing. Recommended only for those serious risk-takers.. Not to be used often; they must be caught off guard. Best locations: busy public places, entrances/exits are always good.

Happy tantruming!

4 comments:

ranaef said...

HAHAHAHA! i shouldn't laugh, but the way you wrote that was hilarious, erin! gotta love tantrums. always in the most embarrassing of places.

Unknown said...

WHOOPS! how i signed in under Ranae i don't know. (sorry, R) that was actually me. :)

Deb said...

Oh man! Your writing just is just so awesome, Erin.
You brought back a lot of memories. Kristin (who is now 7 1/2) was tantrum champ in our family, breath-holding until passing out when she was ticked. She stared doing this at 11 months...and stopped around 5 yrs. Our doc (after fully checking for heart problems,etc.) advised us that a successful tantrum has to have an audience...so when we saw that she was about to have a tizzy, we'd make sure she wasn't going to hit her noggin on something and we'd leave the room!
So I loved the part about you having 'the look' and then later about you still not saying anything. You remind me of the scripture in Proverbs: A gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger. You are one wise woman!

Al said...

the Lord bless you Erin.
P.S. Isaac LOVES the gun game at Cabela's :-)